Back on Island

I hear the water lapping against the sand outside. The curtains are moving to the slight breeze in the air as my windows bring in the Okinawan air. Gone is the snot freezing cold, the warm crackling fire, the white brilliance of snow, the colorful twinkling lights and the beautiful Christmas music. I went from the creaking, noisy household full of family members to a silent typhoon proof apartment on the East China Sea. The change sometimes shocks me.
In the adjustment period that follows nearly 10 weeks of life stateside/home the permanence of my life in Japan seems  nonexistent. I hesitated to buy groceries (it seems so permanent), meet neighbors (they'll leave anyway), and think about my job. When you are TDY for 8 weeks you sort of shrug off all the work happenings as something that you don't worry about. Now being back on the island I have to actually consider the goings on in my job.
There are things in life that you don't know you miss until you experience them again. Upon return I realized how much I missed my view of the water, the smell of the sea, the sound of a foreign language, Sir Archibald McVitie (my car) and the challenge of life overseas.
After a week of being back on island, I feel like I have never really left. Sure there are new people in the squadron, unfamiliar faces who I quickly get to know but overall it is all the same. That is the nature of the military, your job does not cease to exist because you are gone. Things do not go down in flames because you are gone. Interestingly, that is one of the difficult things for retirees to adjust to. They expect once they leave for things to go down in flames. They don't, doesn't matter how many stars you have on your shoulders the military will go on.
A trip to the grocery store is a reminder of what small things are missing on the island: fresher produce, cheese varieties, red potatoes, buttermilk, cinnamon chips, nacho cheese soup, and pancetta. It's been sometime since I had yogurt, OJ, spinach, lettuce, and lemonade on the shelves. The ports of Japan are closed during the holiday weeks. Thus, we wait for shipments. As I list these things, I know they are minor. I always bring a list for two different dinner recipes because inevitably, I won't have a few items from one list and the recipe will be shelved until I live stateside again.

Sittin' in SA

Ahh....San Antonio, the land of sun, heat, tex-mex and big hair.
 
I have been here for over two weeks now and it has been an interesting experience thus far. There are things perhaps unique to San Antonio, unique to Texas or perhaps unique to Lackland. I am never sure which.
 
I went to Blockbuster yesterday (yep! They still have those!) and saw a child running around in a t-shirt. That is it. In the store. Hm. Who knew the sign on the door needed to say: No Shirt No shoes NO PANTS No service?
The kid had to be around three or four, was barefooted, and had a longish tshirt on. I did not look for underwear so I assumed they were on him, but is it safe to assume that when he doesn't have pants or shoes? Perhaps not.
 
Getting on the interstate system is kinda like pulling onto a country highway. There are no on ramps or off ramps just little jaunts from a frontage road onto the maddening interstate. It's kinda WOOSH and suddenly you are on the interstate or WOOSH and you are suddenly off. The odd frontage roads are one way and thank heavens they are the way you are merging. There are some hiccups though, there are yield signs when merging onto the interstate but not when getting off. The off ramp yield signs (which no one heeds) are for the frontage road drivers. Since these drivers don't pay attention (to you or the signs) you are often swooping around to make that driveway or intersection turn that happens to be three lanes away. these frontage roads are potholed, bumpy, and can suddenly lead to a different interstate system that you had no intention of going to. Luckily they have turnaround (ie u turn) lanes for those who want to go the other way on the interstate. They were smart this time and put them under the interstate, not on it.
 
The Lackland speed limit is 30mph and boy do you feel like you are flying! Perhaps I have been driving too long on military bases but truly, compared to 25mph, it seems high speed. Which also leads me to the interstates where 75 is the speed limit. For a culture that moves so slow, some of them can drive fast. Alas, they also have some of the slowest drivers as well. I have come up behind people so fast on the interstate (in the fast lane no less) that I wonder if they think perhaps they are driving on base?
 
So far it's been a good experience, I hope to see more of San Antonio this weekend, rumor has it we may be headed to Sea World!

The 99 percent

"We are the 99 percent. We are getting kicked out of our homes. We are forced to choose between groceries and rent. We are denied quality medical care. We are suffering from environmental pollution. We are working long hours for little pay and no rights, if we're working at all. We are getting nothing while the 1 percent is getting everything. We are the 99 percent."

So I have done little research on the Wall Street protests but googled "the 99 percent" and visited a website. The above quote was found on third website listed on Google under the "about us" section. I have a bit of a problem with these people. Let's take it line by line perhaps, so I can tell you why.

"We are getting kicked out of our houses."

Really? The government is coming to your home unexpectedly and without reason? Are people just showing up and telling you to get out? A hostile take over? No reason? A violation of the fourth amendment? Or is because you defaulted on a loan? Didn't make payments? Took on more than you can handle? Lived past your means perhaps? You are not in some communist country where they say "Get out" and you get because they say so. In America, there has gotta be a reason you are losing your home.

"We are forced to choose between groceries and rent."

Now this I do believe happens in the US. I don't believe it happens to 99% of us but it does happen. Alas, a lot of these people choosing between groceries and rent may also have a smart phone, cable TV, a nice car or designer clothing.

"We are denied quality medical care."

Bull. You mean to tell me that you cannot get quality medical? I have worked all over the nation as a traveling nurse. I have worked in inner city hospitals, hospitals in rich areas, community hospitals and everything in between. I cannot believe you are denied quality medical care. It's illegal at a hospital to turn someone away. In addition this isn't some third world country where there is no access to good care. Where you sleep on the ground outside a clinic for four days to be seen by a nurse in hopes of eventually seeing a doctor. Where they reuse dirty needles, where sterile procedures are a joke and where if your family doesn't bring you food, you don't eat. I don't believe it.

"We are suffering from environmental pollution."

Have you ever seen the lungs of a 20 year old Chinese citizen who lives near a coal burning factory? Or the Indian children born downstream of a chemical plant? Or have you seen it snow brown and black from filthy air? Where is your suffering? Because to be perfectly honest, Americans have it good as far as pollution is concerned. Perhaps it is your definition of "suffering' that has me confused.

"We are working long hours for little pay and no rights, if we're working at all."

A sweat shop worker is an example of someone with no rights. The large percentage of legal residents working in the US have rights. Plenty of them. You aren't chained to your desk, your grill/fryer, your barista station. You receive breaks, days off, a paycheck and insurance up to a point. Migrant worked, sweat shop residents, and illegals have far less rights. Once again I deny that it is the 99 percent.

So, to come to a conclusion, I am sorry you thought college was the key to everything, that you are losing your house and your job. You are not the only one, you are not 99 percent, and some of us are to busy at our jobs to protest on Wall Street. Personally I think I am blessed to be in America even with the economic problems.

Camp Bullis

A few weeks ago I went to a week long training for deployment. Although the first half of the week was a bit on the side of boring (some of those briefs really lacked any interesting information) the second half was quite fun. We basically learned how to run our own CASF unit. This involves loading and unloading patients on liters from aircraft of multiple shapes and sizes, helicopters, ambulances, ambus, and deuce and half. We also run the security (including carrying weapons), the patient holding unit, logistics and general other items involved in a deployment environment. We had a good group, I went with a few people from Wright Patterson and overall had a nice break from the world of floor nursing to the broader world of the military.
I realized on this trip how crappy Army accomodations could be (mine were great!), how annoying and disorganized a TDY could start and end well, how warm it is in Texas in March, how lovely San Antonio is and how to wake up to M16's firing and how to fall asleep to mortars "exploding". We stayed in deployment conditions (which are nice for nice, this IS the Air Force after all) and I had hot meals and a shower every day.
We had a full 1 1/2 days of running a simulated CASF. When I received my chance to work security I found out I was senior officer of the security team and if we had to "bug out" (ie run for the bunkers) I would be in charge of leading MY bunker. I carried an M16 (heavy and very real looking but no moving parts) and an M9 on my hip but never both weapons at the same time. There was a particular MSgt who kept taking the M16 and stating "you officers carry an M9 anyways so give me the real gun" or "I am going out to check out this security risk and need a weapon with some range so give me your weapon." This was a SIMULATED event. We did not actually shoot. It was interesting on security because when we had trouble, you stood in front of that tent door to protect everyone inside, you were the last line of defense. I was not uncomfortable in that role, just a switch from the nursing world where you are a completly different "last line of defense". We also did anti hijacking which was checking patients and belonging for illegal or harmful items. You learn what to do if you find a grenade, a host of grenades, weapons or any such similar item. The cadre strongly reinforced the importance of antihijacking for safety. We heard stories of soldiers flying all the way to Germany with grenades in their hands with the pin pulled, rolling patients over on their liter and finding weapons, or strings of grenades with the pins pulled and some very fragile but ingenius device keeping them from detonating.
Another teaching item intrigued me as well. If we were ever mortared or under attack, you lower your patients to the floor and cover their body with yours. I know this would be an instinctual reaction for me but the idea that it was taught to me threw me off. It really gave me something to think about but not because I am unwilling or unable but because it is considered part of my JOB.
I learned how to use Nogs (i.e. NVG's or night vision goggles), including the infrared option, as well. We do come into situations where we have to load/unload patients at night under blackout conditions and thus need to wear NVG's to see what we are doing/where we are going. We all wore the cheaper end of the NVG price point at about $1-2,000 per pair I believe. It really throws off your depth perception when you wear them. It is a little like walking around with a camcorder over your eyes with the lens on zoom. It was fun, funny, and difficult to imagine the Spec ops guys running around with these on with my depth perception the way it was. Needless to say, the Spec Ops guys get WAY better stuff than I do.
So I won't tell when I am deploying because I don't know IF or WHEN. But you can't say the military isn't properly preparing me to do it!

CASF (contingency Aeromedical Staging Facility)

Have a Great Air Force Day!!

Welcome to the Air Force! Well, welcome to me being in the Air Force anyways. After a year of paperwork, interviews and more paperwork, self doubt, tears, trepidation and refusal, I was commissioned as a First Lieutenant in the United States Air Force on June 2, 2010. Just short of three months later I went to Alabama and went to Commissioned Officers Training for five weeks.

The five weeks of training were not all that demanding as far as the physical training were concerned. The demand was in the lack of sleep (four-five hours a night every night) and the mental requirements under that stress. Even with the "heavy directing" and "telling" of the instructors and TI's I genuinely had FUN those 5 weeks. I worked with a great group of 15 and enjoyed a lot of the classes. I left there sad to go but excited to get out and work in the "real" Air Force.

So what have I learned since joining the Air Force? A few frequently used terms you hear a lot:

1. Tracking-when one person asks another if they are both understanding each other. Used in a phrase: "Are we tracking?"

2. Low hanging fruit- meaning easy targets with the least amount of effort. Used in a phrase "That volunteer opportunity is low hanging fruit for advancement."

3.KISS- Keep It Simple Stupid-why make something more complicated than you need to?

4. High Speed low drag- a person who is extremely efficient used in a phrase "She's high speed low drag, you know?"

5. Shut up and color- keep your head down and do what you're told. ie. stop asking why and just do it.

6. Ace in the hole- a sure win, the one thing you can use for a guarantee win (whether in competition, an argument, battle or selling an idea)

7. Too many chiefs and not enough Indians- a perfect example of this would be COT (commissioned officer training)

8. outstanding- Whenever someone asks how you are you answer "outstanding, sir"

So more details later, this is just a poorly written, quick update to let you all know I am alive and mostly well.

Going Down in a Blaze of Glory

It is finished! Today I passed my final white blaze of my "section" hike. The reality has not really set in yet. If you picture your ordinary life and what you do on a regular basis suddenly ending, I don't think you can imagine it. I cannot imagine not hiking. This is not neccesarily because it is my heart and soul, but it has become my reality. This is my life now, this is what I do. Now that life is over and I return home. It doesn't seem right.
When people ask me about my experience I am not sure how to respond. I know that most of them really want a one word answer not a novel but how do you put this into one word? Life altering? Is that sufficient? I think not. Not because it will make me do a 180 degree turn in my life, but because it doesn't cover all the range of emotions.
I have never done something so mentally challenging as this hike. It can be a daily battle to push yourself that extra mile, that extra peak or that extra shelter. The pain has to be ignored and the enjoyment must be maximized. I feel that this hike was a great test of my capacity to deal with misery and push past it. I can take on so much more now that I know I can go furthur than I ever imagined.
I no longer question how tough I am. I am not as tough as everyone out there but I can handle more than I originally suspected. Some peoples capacity to tough things out amazes me while other peoples lack of toughness shocks me. I know I would have regretted quitting, and only twice on the hike was it a serious thought.
When I say that this trip was life altering I truly mean that. I am the same girl that left 2 months ago with perhaps a little more gumption. I voice my opinion easier and am not afraid to take a leadership role. I do not "follow" as much as I used to as well. I can ask people for help without feeling TOO guilty about inconveniencing them. I know I am not as independent as I thought myself to be (i.e. I like having friends around). I can be foreward (rarely) when the need arises. Yet I still avoid conflict just as much as I did two months ago. I can still be quiet in group of people I am unfamiliar with.
My spiritual growth on this trip ha been immense. I never imagined that God's goodness would come upon me as much as it has. He healed my knee, brought me friends EVERY time I needed them, and gave me a chance to be the salt and the light. My prayer life has grown as well and I hope this will continue in the vices of "normal life." I truly know now that God is good, that he has a plan and that I need to submit to His calling. The idea of turning my life completely over to Him is terrifying but it is what Christians are called to do. It really scares me but I do hope he guides me in the upcoming time of decision making. May I do all for His glory and advance of His kingdom.

No longer Northward,
Duckie

Trail Peculiarites

I had a rather interesting experience the other night, one which I still have not quite figured out. I was hiking in the Shenandoah's and arrived at a shelter for the night. There were two people there, one which I had met and another I had not. The man I had not met was a Southbounder (SOBO) headed to Springer who had started in Front Royal. I chatted nicely with him, gave him campsite suggestions and had a rather nice conversation. My group of fellow hikers arrived a bit later at around 6:30pm and we fell into our typical rapport. When my friends arrived the SOBO climbed into his sleeping bag and looked out upon us all not saying anything. This is not unusual behavior for older male hikers on the trail and did not really phase me. At around 7:30 (SOBO had long since gone to bed) while I was cleaning up my dinner pot I started sing. From within the shelter came a voice: "No singing!" A friend of mine thought he was talking to him because he was humming. I corrected my friend and stated: "No he was talking to me because I was singing." From within the shelter again came a voice: "And no humming either!" In my naivete I did not think that the man was serious. I had a nice conversation with him not long ago and thought he was joking. My friend, Honey Do, said "Oh sorry man." And the voice from within said: "Well you haven't shut up since you got here!"
I guess you have to understand that you pretty much hike alone all day long and words are not commonly used. When you get into camp it is your chance to chat and use those words you've saved up all day long. We were not a particularly chatty group so it surprised me that he said this to us.
Around 9:30pm I climbed into my sleeping bag in the shelter and turned to watch the campfire. I could hear Honey Do and a fellow hiker of mine murmuring quietly. At about 9:45 SOBO got up out of his sleeping bag and up to the fire and the following conversation occurred:
SOBO: "Well that's a nice fire you got there."
Honey Do (HD): "Thanks, yeah."
SOBO: Well you either put it out or you stop talking.
HD: Why?
SOBO: Because you haven't shut the F*** up since you got here. So either put out the fire or go back to your tent!
HD: I am not going to do either of those things. I am sitting here talking with my friend. I will sit here as long as I like. It's part of being in a shelter.
SOBO: Well you gotta do one of those things.
HD: I am not going to.
SOBO now picks up a stick and swirls around the fire spreading the coals everywhere. Subsequent language went down the toilet here and I will not regale you with all the bad conversation. Honey Do started the fire back up and sat there chatting, breaking sticks loudly and SOBO went back to bed. During this whole exchange I was laying in bed hoping beyond hope that the conversation would just STOP! I wanted to run out of the shelter and hide.
In the morning SOBO came up to me and apologized for snapping at me. I honestly at the time did not know what for immediately. He never did apologize to Honey Do. We never saw him again but I believe he has real anger issues.