Going Down in a Blaze of Glory
It is finished! Today I passed my final white blaze of my "section" hike. The reality has not really set in yet. If you picture your ordinary life and what you do on a regular basis suddenly ending, I don't think you can imagine it. I cannot imagine not hiking. This is not neccesarily because it is my heart and soul, but it has become my reality. This is my life now, this is what I do. Now that life is over and I return home. It doesn't seem right.
When people ask me about my experience I am not sure how to respond. I know that most of them really want a one word answer not a novel but how do you put this into one word? Life altering? Is that sufficient? I think not. Not because it will make me do a 180 degree turn in my life, but because it doesn't cover all the range of emotions.
I have never done something so mentally challenging as this hike. It can be a daily battle to push yourself that extra mile, that extra peak or that extra shelter. The pain has to be ignored and the enjoyment must be maximized. I feel that this hike was a great test of my capacity to deal with misery and push past it. I can take on so much more now that I know I can go furthur than I ever imagined.
I no longer question how tough I am. I am not as tough as everyone out there but I can handle more than I originally suspected. Some peoples capacity to tough things out amazes me while other peoples lack of toughness shocks me. I know I would have regretted quitting, and only twice on the hike was it a serious thought.
When I say that this trip was life altering I truly mean that. I am the same girl that left 2 months ago with perhaps a little more gumption. I voice my opinion easier and am not afraid to take a leadership role. I do not "follow" as much as I used to as well. I can ask people for help without feeling TOO guilty about inconveniencing them. I know I am not as independent as I thought myself to be (i.e. I like having friends around). I can be foreward (rarely) when the need arises. Yet I still avoid conflict just as much as I did two months ago. I can still be quiet in group of people I am unfamiliar with.
My spiritual growth on this trip ha been immense. I never imagined that God's goodness would come upon me as much as it has. He healed my knee, brought me friends EVERY time I needed them, and gave me a chance to be the salt and the light. My prayer life has grown as well and I hope this will continue in the vices of "normal life." I truly know now that God is good, that he has a plan and that I need to submit to His calling. The idea of turning my life completely over to Him is terrifying but it is what Christians are called to do. It really scares me but I do hope he guides me in the upcoming time of decision making. May I do all for His glory and advance of His kingdom.
No longer Northward,
Duckie
When people ask me about my experience I am not sure how to respond. I know that most of them really want a one word answer not a novel but how do you put this into one word? Life altering? Is that sufficient? I think not. Not because it will make me do a 180 degree turn in my life, but because it doesn't cover all the range of emotions.
I have never done something so mentally challenging as this hike. It can be a daily battle to push yourself that extra mile, that extra peak or that extra shelter. The pain has to be ignored and the enjoyment must be maximized. I feel that this hike was a great test of my capacity to deal with misery and push past it. I can take on so much more now that I know I can go furthur than I ever imagined.
I no longer question how tough I am. I am not as tough as everyone out there but I can handle more than I originally suspected. Some peoples capacity to tough things out amazes me while other peoples lack of toughness shocks me. I know I would have regretted quitting, and only twice on the hike was it a serious thought.
When I say that this trip was life altering I truly mean that. I am the same girl that left 2 months ago with perhaps a little more gumption. I voice my opinion easier and am not afraid to take a leadership role. I do not "follow" as much as I used to as well. I can ask people for help without feeling TOO guilty about inconveniencing them. I know I am not as independent as I thought myself to be (i.e. I like having friends around). I can be foreward (rarely) when the need arises. Yet I still avoid conflict just as much as I did two months ago. I can still be quiet in group of people I am unfamiliar with.
My spiritual growth on this trip ha been immense. I never imagined that God's goodness would come upon me as much as it has. He healed my knee, brought me friends EVERY time I needed them, and gave me a chance to be the salt and the light. My prayer life has grown as well and I hope this will continue in the vices of "normal life." I truly know now that God is good, that he has a plan and that I need to submit to His calling. The idea of turning my life completely over to Him is terrifying but it is what Christians are called to do. It really scares me but I do hope he guides me in the upcoming time of decision making. May I do all for His glory and advance of His kingdom.
No longer Northward,
Duckie
posted by Noellebellz at 8:21 PM
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